Moto Guzzi California

It seems I could have almost anything - bikes were still cheaper than cars at this point. I went allong to the Harley shop but they didn't give test rides and, to be frank, I didn't like their attitude. Ducati's were probably a little to delicate for me and the Japanese bikes were ... just to Japanese. There was a Guzzi shop not to far away and I popped over just to have a look.

I must admit I loved this bike the moment I saw it - that laid back look, the crash protection bars to protect it (and me), hard lugage which actually looked good on the bike, the foot boards. Everything on the bike was simple and there for a purpose. I asked if I could sit on it - they said why not take it for a ride ! Talk about a different attitude to the Harley shop! I drove off into the lunch time traffic and immediately found it was very different to the VFR! I couldn't get it out of 1st gear for the first mile - it has a heel and toe type gear change and you need to be very firm with them until they are run in (about 20K miles!). The braking seemed very week until I tried the foot brake and then nearlly went through the bike's wind screen. Despite all this I headed back to the shop knowing that I'd found my bike.

It could commute, it could race other bikes (if you were very brave) and it could tour. It had a front screen and lugage space, it even had crash protection bars. It even did 50mpg and would cruise all day at 80mph without making you feel tired. I did a couple of round the UK tours on the bike and had a great time.

I crashed them a lot though but, because they seemed to be built from solid iron, it never seemed to bother them - may be sometimes I'd get a small scratch on the bars. I did once manage to bend the front forks - I hit a mini head on and embeded the bike right through the car - and even then I personally thought I could have ridden the bike home.

My best crash was going along the A23, near the Oval. I was banked over and overtaking 3 lanes of traffic when a car up ahead did a very brave U turn. No problem I thought, I'll just squeeze in behind it however this car then collided with a few others and the road was now full of spinning cars. I could see there wasn't a gap anymore, I was still banked hard over from the bend and braking would have me sliding into the 3 lanes of traffic -I decided to just hit the cheapest car - an old datsun that was already spinning in the road. I hit it just behind the back wheel and was a bit surprised when the rear end of the car just exloded into bits - the bumper flew off to my left, the boot and panels to my right. I went through the screen of the Guzi and was now doing a handstand on the bars with my feet above my head. My only problem now was I was still travelling around 40 mph! I also seemed to be be going diagonally across the traffic lanes and I had absoloutly no control of the bike. I could however see the drivers in all the cars behind me staring at me in disbelief and ramming their brakes as hard as they could. For a moment I thought I was going to fall infront of the bike and then run myself over, which would of been very embarrassing, instead I went up the kerb and into a wall. I landed next to the bike with the bikes wind screen still wrapped around my neck. I felt fine but my heart was almost bursting out my chest. A pedestrian was running up to me but I held out my hand to say I was fine. He didn't even ask me how I was, he just said "mate, that was the most ammazing thing I've ever seen". Needless to say I just rode the bike home and ordered a new screen from the garage.

Kawasaki 750 Cruiser

This bike was a lemon. I bought it 2nd hand in the USA with the aim of touring the country for 6 months but it barely lasted a week before terminally overheating. I was riding through death valley when it suddenly went completely dead underneath me - I had to wait 2 hours before someone went past - the guy was driving a large lorry and we couldn't get the bike onto the back so I asked if he would tow me. I soon worked out that this wasn't a good idea. The only rope I had was for the camping and so it was pretty short, I couldn't see anything but the back end of the lorry. I also made the mistake of tying a knot so it was impossible to get unattached. I presume if I did fall off then the lorry driver would find out when he eventually stopped and got out.

Any way we made it to Barstow. A garage said the charging system had burnt out and volunteered to recharge the battery for me. I spent the evening in a pretend country and western bar watching people square dancing or fighting depending on how much they had to drink. I felt miserable.

The next day I set of back to San Fransisco, The battery was fully charged, I'd removed all the lights so all the electricty that was left would just be used for the spark plugs - the garage owner had no idea how long the charge would last but thought I might make it 500 miles. Just after leaving Barstow an oil seal overheated and blew out and so now oil was starting to spew from the side of the engine. I was now feeling very depressed! I plugged the leak with tin foil and string! I then had to ride the bike at no faster than 40 mph (so it didn't overheat). I also had to ride the bike at an angle of roughly 45 degrees to stop the oil from comming out, there were no lights etc and I had to ride roughly 500 miles. It was a dismal ride.

Kawasaki Ltd 440

I had no money left and this was the cheapest bike I could get. I set off on grand tour knowing that this was one of the smallest bikes I'd ever owned. The previous owner had driven it 50 miles a week and kept in garage and now I was planning taking it 200 miles every day and parking it in deserts and mountains. I learnt to love the bike, it was honest, it made friends with everyone and it allways (well nearlly allways) worked.

I only managed to crash this bike once which, concidering the milage, wasn't bad. I'd been driving down the pacific coast just looking out and watching the waves crash onto the beach. It really was a beautifull site but suddenly the road noise just stops and everything goes silent ! I looked down and discovered I'd driven off the side of the road and was now flying through the air and about to land on the side of a steep slope heading down to the beach. The landing wasn't very skillfull but we managed to stay upright and, after a small break to gather my thoughts, I managed to drive slowly back up the slope. Thinking about it I also managed to flip the bike while driving the bike up a steep cliff path with the aim of camping at the top.

When I'd just about finished my trip the bike was beginning to fall to pieces - the battery was shot, the steering wobbled and everything squeeked as we rode allong. I dropped into a motorbike shop on the Appalucian trail and asked if there was anything I could do to make it last a little longer. He asked what I was doing and I told him about the Rockies, Canada, the pacific coast road, the deserts and mid west, the Keys and now the east coast route. He thought for a while and then said "you know what you're problem is ?" , I looked at him expectantly, "you're just having to much fun". He had a point.